So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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