Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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