How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
