just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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