i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
