to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
