If i come over, it means nothing
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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