what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
