today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
why is half of my head shaved?
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