Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
