She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
