I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
