Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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