He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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