I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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