he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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