The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Damn victory sex feels great
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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