Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Swine flu is the new snow day.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.