i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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