just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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