I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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