did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Randomize
