I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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