Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
