He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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