I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dick very happy bro
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
