wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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