Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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