May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
