Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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