Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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