I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
