i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im holly from the hills drunk
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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