i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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