just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
nutella sex= disaster
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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