Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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