Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
