I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
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