I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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