New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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