what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
