Sry I called you an 8
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
