STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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