So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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