Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Let's get the cat blown out
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
