does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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