My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
