Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
