thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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