He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize