The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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