i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
His nipple licking is glorious
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