Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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