It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
