why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
