She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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